Count the money slowly in front of the client. Do not just put it in your pocket like a shy 4th grade girl.


DRIVE SMOOTH
Your vehicle is heading north.  Your divider is up.  The front of your cabin is clean, stocked, your portable cell phone surround sound is on, your mirrors are set just right and your limo is now in drive.  With 10 of the hottest women you have ever seen.  I forgot to say that.  Let’s talk about smooth driving.
Your number one concern right now should be SAFETY.  Not finding a future wife.  Think SAFETY.  10, 20, 30, maybe even 40 people’s lives are going to be in your hands while you are driving through a severe rain storm for the next 8.5 hours!!  The next few points are going to save you a lot of grief over the next several years of your new career as a limo driver;

  1. Never let the client feel you hit the gas and take off.
  2. Never let the client feel you hit the brake and slow down.
  3. Never let the client feel you taking your turns.
  4. Always anticipate your next turn in advance.
  5. Always remember you are driving LENGTH.

If you think you are a smooth drive, let me put you to the test.  Your client will compliment you at the end of your job or sometime throughout your job with 5 very special words if you are a smooth driver.  They will say “That was a smooth ride!!!!”
I have been an illusionist for over 18 years.  If clients thought I was good, I was taught they would ask me the million dollar question:  “What was your name?”

Chauffeurs, if you want be the best at what you do, learn from the best.  Me.

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If you need to stop for a restroom break, your first choice should be a major hotel. They have large restrooms that can handle large groups at a time.


PIT STOPS
You’re going to be driving down the road chillin like a villain and all of a sudden, your clients are going to do the bathroom tap on your divider.  It sounds like this, “Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock, Bam, Smack, Pow!”  When your client needs to go to the bathroom, pull over ASAP and let them go.  There is nothing worse than when you have to go to the bathroom really bad and your driver is driving down the road like, “Easy does it.  One day at a time.  Nice and easy.  Doot-ta doo!!”  Rise to the occasion!  Step on the gas pedal.  Get your clients to a damn bathroom!!!! 
Your first choice rest stop should be a major hotel like Marriott, Weston etc…  If there are none around try to hit up a Restaurant.  Your third choice should be a Dunkin Donuts or similar spot.  Your last choice should be a beat up gas station.  Do not pull over on the side of the highway!  It is extremely unprofessional and illegal. In the State of Massachusetts, going to the bathroom on the side of the road is considered indecent exposure and is a felony. 
If you are 20 minutes into your trip and you know your passing a major hotel in 5 minutes, extend the courtesy to your clients and ask them if they would like to make a quick pit stop.  You will hear “Thanks man!!” from each client when their done.  Trust me.  I know.     

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A chauffeur wears many jackets.


CONCIERGE SERVICES
I KNOW. You are not a concierge. But you are chauffeur. And you are the servant of your client. When you are at your pick-up and your itinerary says you are heading to Capitol Grill, don't be shy. Ask your client what time his dinner reservations are for. If he says 6PM and you are still on 95 South and its 615PM, tell your client that if he would like, you will call The Capitol Grill and postpone his dinner reservations by 25 minutes or 45. Often, clients leave their house very late and you know right from the start you are going to be late. Be on top of the small stuff. Use your IQ. If you don't have a high IQ, maybe you should go to Borders and buy a book on it.

If you stay at a major hotel, the concierge team, in the lobby, all know what the best restaurants are, the best nightclubs, hot spots, gentleman clubs and exactly what’s happening across the city.  That’s what they do.  A good chauffeur should be knowledgeable like a concierge.  If you want to see your tips increase, practice some of my methods.  I religiously received $500-$700 tips from my clients, all the time.  My biggest tip in one night was $1,200.00.  Chauffeurs gain a lot of friends, quickly.  Chauffeurs see a lot of things they shouldn’t.  Chauffeurs are behind the scenes in a lot of events and Chauffeurs, sometimes, are on the inside of the Celebrity nightlife.   What happens in the limo, stays in the limo. We will talk more about this in the Codes of Conduct section.

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Always open the door for your clients. When your car stops you should be out the door within 3 seconds tops. No excuses.


ARRIVING YOUR DESTINATION
It is polite to inform your client that you will be arriving your destination in approximately 10 minutes.  That gives them enough time to finish their drink.  For some people, that gives them just enough time to down 3 more!  Whatever the situation, use some customer service and some good hospitality.  Communicate with your clients. Put your hazards on as you are approaching and arriving in style.

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Always open the door for your clients. When your car stops you should be out the door within 3 seconds tops. No excuses.


OPEN THE DOOR FOR YOUR CLIENTS
The Limo comes to a complete stop.  Don’t just sit there in the car, sending text messages and cleaning the potatoes out of your ear.  Immediately, you should be out of your limo.  When that limo stops, you put the car in park and get out of it.  Why?  Because you need to be at the back door.  Opening it like a professional chauffeur. Often clients call in on a Monday because over the weekend we do 100-200 runs.  When they say “My driver sucked.  We had to open our own doors,” the driver always says “They opened them before I could get their”.  Bullshit.  I mean Bull Shavings.  Your lazy ### was sitting up front taking your sweet old time.  Take your seatbelt off when your 20 feet from the Venue.  Get ready to get the hell out of your limo.  When that car stops, you have an appointment.  At the rear of that car.  Opening that door.  Point clear enough? 

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Don't just stand there. Always help your clients when they are getting out of the limo.


HELP YOUR CLIENTS GET OUT OF THE LIMO
Let’s move on.  As your clients are getting out, assist them.  Don’t hug them and grope them like I’ve seen done a million times.  Simply stick your left hand out, palm up, and extend it to your female clients.  Many of them will try to bend over as they are walking down the aisle and they try to get out in a very awkward position that lets their womanhood be seen to everyone.  The proper way for a female to exit a limo is to have her sit on the rear seat.  When she sits down in the passenger side rear seat she then extends her right leg onto the ground, outside the vehicle.  She then sticks her right hand out into the air and the chauffeur grabs it and helps her as she lifts the rest of her body out.  That is the cordial way.  The conservative way.  Sometimes I would simply say to each girl, sit right here.  As soon as she sits, I stick out my hand.  They get the point very quick.  If my description makes no sense, I will personally show you how to help someone out of a limo.

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CONFIRM YOUR ETD
At this point your clients are waiting on the curb, about to walk away. Before they do, make sure you chat with your client who booked the limo and ask him/her what is the estimated time of departure. (ETD) If the client is not sure ask him/her if they have a rough idea. Everyone knows a "general" idea of what time they are planning on heading back. Is it one hour or 10. Get some type of clue.

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If you cannot find a spot curbside, at least point in the direction where you will be waiting.


SHOW CLIENTS WHERE YOU WILL BE WAITING
Next, show your clients where you will be. Sometimes clients go to destinations that have no room for parking and the police monitor the area very well and you are not allowed to sit in eye distance. If that is the case, then tell the client "roughly" where you will be. Sometimes emergencies happen and the client may need you. I know what you are thinking. They can call me! Wrong. Sometimes their cell phone battery dies. Or, your dies and you don't even know it. Or there may be no cell phone signal where you are. Always, always, always let the clients know where you will be. At minimum, let the person who booked the limo know where you will be. It cannot express this point enough. Don't just whisper it as they are leaving. Take your client aside and point in the direction where you will be parked and say" Do you see that McDonalds?" I don’t care if it's a half a mile away. Show them. Point to them. They are probably half drunk at this point and theirs you, "See ya guys. Have fun!" Because you want to go chill somewhere and flirt with girls. Again, this is not your special event.

One night around 4AM I received a call from 6 young 22 year old skinny 100lb little girls. They were almost to the point they were crying. They couldn't find their limo. They were outside in downtown New York City. The club was closed. It was starting to rain. They had no coats with them. Sleeveless dresses and guess what the temperature was? About 10 fuckin degrees out. They were stranded. Freezing. Guess what the temperature was in the front cabin of the fuckin limo where the driver was sitting. About 85 degrees!!!! These girls waited almost 45 minutes for this driver to finally pull up. Yes, I fired the driver the next day. Ya know what his excuse was? I gave them my #. Ya know what my response was? Fuck you.

Guys, this business is no joke. Go work for whoever you want.  lot of limo companies have no rules at all. Here, at Celebrity Limousine, we do. My rules are put into place to protect peoples daughters, wives, sisters and moms who are in downtown New York City, at 4AM, on a 10 degree night and they have no jackets. This business is full of glamour, but it is also a very serious job. Alot of peoples special events are depending on my point man. My chauffeur. You.

Don't just give your clients your telephone number.

Show your clients where you will be.

You’re a servant. Act like it.

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Hand each client a business card so they can contact you when they need you. If for some reason, you don't pick up, they can call the office.


HAND CLIENTS A BUSINESS CARD
Not all companies make this mandatory. However, I do. All chauffeurs that work for me must order business cards immediately upon hire. If you do not have the money to pay for them, I will personally buy you some. When you drop my clients off, I want a card in their hand that has our 24 hour office telephone line on it "and" your personal cell phone. If you go work for another company and it is not mandatory, you should still have a business card. It’s 2011, try to get with the wave.

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As tempting as it may be, a professional chauffeur never goes in the back of his limo unless he is cleaning it.


NEVER BE CAUGHT IN THE BACK OF YOUR LIMO UNLESS CLEANING IT
A chauffeur should never be caught in the back of his/her limo, unless he is cleaning it. Ever. It is unprofessional. Most companies will fire a chauffeur on the spot if he is caught in the back of his limo just chillin. With or without his clients. Clients get very offended when a chauffeur is just chilling amongst all their purses and cell phones and valuables. Escpecially, open alcohol. A quick way to get fired is to hange out in the back of your limo.

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KEEP YOUR LIMO CLEAN
Once your clients get out of your limo, you should find your spot to park the car, put the divider down, pop the trunk and go in the back and re-clean your interior. Do not just jump back there and start straightening out. Make sure to pop your trunk and leave both rear doors open. If you don't, your clients will think that you are chillin in the back of the limo with their private stuff. Often, someone will run back to the limo within the first 5 minutes of you dropping them off because they have forgotten something. Always make it a clear point to keep the trunk open and both doors open while straightening out.

Whenever you go to a hotel, make a mess of the room and leave mid-afternoon the next day to hit the beach, upon your return, the hotel room is usually re-cleaned again by the cleaning crew.

When your clients leave your limo, make sure to throw all the trash away, wipe all your counters down, brush your carpets and fold everyone’s clothes. If you don’t know how to fold articles of clothing, ask you mom. Some of my best chauffeurs will re-ice the coolers. When the interior looks perfect again, look at your radio settings. Often, clients change the fader, balance, treble and bass on accident. Look at your temperature settings. If it’s freezing out, get the car nice and toasty for your clients. Pay attention to these details. This is what makes my chauffeurs stand out from the other clowns that are out there.

When you clients get back to the limo, I guarantee you, you will hear major compliments if you did it right.

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SOLICIT NEW BUSINESS
As the crowds are walking by you gawking, here’s a great idea. Hand out some cards with your number on it. Sell yourself. Sell your company. Chauffeurs that are requested, trump all senior drivers. Also, most companies will pay you a commission on any reservation that you bring in.

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Always protect your limo from the crowds.


PROTECT YOUR LIMO
Often, while your clients are inside their venue, people will walk up to your limo and try to open the door. Some of them think that the limo is theirs. Some of them are just trying to be funny and impress their drunk friends. We have had several cases of people that have opened up our limo doors and actually stole items. Keep your rear doors "locked". Protect your client’s valuables. Also, protect the limo. If there is alot of people walking around outside and you are at a very busy spot and you cannot relocate, then I suggest you stand outside by the back door of your limo. I could probably tell you many stories just on this subject alone.

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NEVER LEAVE YOUR LIMOUSINE UNATTENDED
Never leave your limo unattended unless you have to go to the bathroom or have management approval. You will be responsible for any new damage on your limo upon return.

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No matter how long your job is, maintain dress code from the moment you leave the lot until you get back.


MAINTAIN DRESS CODE
Make sure you maintain your dress code throughout the night. Often chauffeurs think that the longer the night goes on, they can take off their jacket, then tie. Before ya know it, they are in sneakers and jeans. If it's cold out dress accordingly. Wear long johns. Bring a scarf or two. Wear a hat if your limo company allows you to. Wear gloves. Whatever you do maintain your dress code all night. Even after you drop off your clients. Do not change your apparel just because you dropped off your clients. If you do, other drivers will accuse you of chauffeuring all night in jeans and a t-shirt. When you’re behind the wheel of a limousine, be in proper dress. When you get home, you can wear whatever you want when you drive your little 2 speed tractor.

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Say Cheese. Chauffeuring drunk clients can be alot of fun. Just pay attention and keep them safe at all times.


HANDLING YOUR DRUNK CLIENTS
As your clients start to come back to your limo, often they will be drunk. After all, isn't that why they hired you? So they don't have to drink and drive? Watch them. Make sure they are not entering your vehicle on the driver’s side. Only keep the rear passenger side door unlocked and you should be standing right next to that door as they get in. Make sure they are not bringing food into the limo. Most companies do not allow food. If you’re not sure, check with management about their food policy. Here at Celebrity Limousine we do not allow food in our limos. When clients spill crumbs on the floor, mixed with beer, then stomped on it with foot traffic, that is the recipe for food concrete after it hardens. Trust me. I know. Handle your drunk clients. If you have a client or two that are getting rowdy, warn them that they will not be allowed back in the limo if they continue to fight or act disorderly. If your ever not sure what to do, call management immediately. Most of your trips will be fun and and your clients will be very entertaining. Just be aware of the one or two out of the bunch that are drinking too much and most importantly, keep them safe!

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In this business, you need to use all 4 of your eyes. Be alert. Beware. Look for the unexpected. Be on top of your A Game.


SAFETY FIRST
Always think SAFETY FIRST. I cannot express this enough. One time a client dropped a girl off and made her walk across the street to get into her bar. She made it 4 lanes over, however, in the fourth lane was struck by a very fast moving car. The result was devastating! Guys, it can happen to you. My company was sued and guess who else got sued?  The driver. For negligence. The girl was drinking and the driver did not drop her off curbside. Do not let clients walk to you after the club breaks out and you park across 1, 2 or 3 lanes of traffic. Get curbside! Or as close as you can get.

Look out for as many things as you can. Often clients are hanging 5 feet from the limo with cars flying by them within inches. If it is your clients, get them over to the curb. Watch out for them. You be safe. Drive safe. Keep them safe! Watch out for the drunk drivers.

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CONFIRM YOUR FINAL DESTINATIONS
Once your clients get in the limo, don't just shut the door and assume you’re heading back to your original pick-up. Ask your client. Communicate with them. Confirm each destination every single time you close that back door. Clients often change their minds all night long as the night progresses. That is why you should keep in full communication with them at all times.

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CONFIRM YOUR OVERTIME RATES
As your night is progressing, so is the clock. Remind your clients as the night is going about the overtime charges. Often, 2AM comes around, the client is paid in full until 230AM and some hoe, in the back of the limo, (I mean conservative girl) says "Let's go to Ihop!!!!" Don't just take them there, unless your client in charge authorizes it. Also, remind him that the overtime rate is $200 an hour and by going to Ihop, waiting in line for an hour and travel back and forth, he will be needing an extra 2 hours, totaling $400.00 Do you still think he is going to want to go to Ihop? The point is communicate. Don't be a push over. Keep your clients aware of their financial status.

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BEWARE OF DRUNK DRIVERS
Watch your limousine very carefully. Be aware of the drunk drivers all around you.

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BE ALERT OF CLIENT PROBLEMS
Remind your clients of the damage fee in your contract if any client becomes sick. Tell your clients that if they get sick to puke inside one of their own coolers or to tell you so you can immediately pull the limo over. Sometimes it’s good to warn the clients early if you see one client in specific who is drinking too much. There has also been times when clients were not feeling good and I ordered them a cab to take that guy or girl straight home. Who am I kidding? It’s always a girl. LOL

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ARRIVING YOUR FINAL DROP OFF
Your night is over. You are arriving your final drop off. Actually, it's not even close to being over. You still have 2 more sections to read before your limo is getting shut down.

Next Arriving Your Final Drop Off



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